"An older poem that I wrote some time ago and it's kind of lengthy"

Never knew our love would come to this
Stuck in a state of bliss
As I reminisce on the times we spent
The days that I’ll surely miss
You were there without hesitation
Fixed my situation
In admiration
I found that you were my inspiration and motivation
And even in the midst of all my criticism
You were the one who helped strengthen my optimism
There when I was vulnerable under the influence of superiority
When my mind was suffering drowning by inferiority
Incapable of displaying my genuine feelings
You taught me how and gave me spiritual healing
Illusive hopes only to might never find you
Evidently
You are intrinsic to me

You are intrinsic to me
At first I was stubborn and struck with bewilderment
Couldn’t get over the fact of your abandonment
Truth be told I know you were tired of life’s trials
Miles and files and piles of our love’s denials
No one approved the age difference of our commitment
Even when we didn’t ask for someone’s arbitrement
We faced the truth and we knew it would be hard for us to go through
But you gave up on me when I didn’t give up on you
What happened
I know we both wanted to chase our passions
We used to have music
You used to love the sound of your acoustic
And oh the pleasing and harmonious sounds
The inspirational words that came from your mouth
I know you could feel the soulful connection
You were just too busy focusing on circumspection
And the results of all your exclusions
Just left me with more wounds and confusion
And so I sat there filled with desperation

And so I sat there filled with desperation
Trying to save myself from frustration
Blind folded walking the line searching for serenity
Knowing that we may not ever reach amenity
It’s so unexpected how you just appeared
You appeared just as quick as you disappeared
Just as quick as I started to persevere
Our encounters for you I started to fear
Scared to fall again scared to fall for your words
Cause last time you left with a piece of my heart two thirds
But this time you seem different, there’s something I can’t grasp
You’re taller, you dress differently, and you speak with a rasp
When we spoke I didn’t feel that connection like I did before
And your intentions I tried to ignore
But now I can see past the ocean and on to the shore
I’ve found that my feelings for you aren’t the same anymore
So again I’m on my heart’s chase once more

So again I’m on my heart’s chase once more
Not promptly just pacing steadily to the core
For that’s where my emotions alter right inside
They shift, jerk, and lead me on a ride
I just proceed where they take me I follow
Not knowing where I’ll be tomorrow
Just grateful to be away from such sorrow
Away from the walls being so hollow
So now I just drift and follow my way of life
Finding peace and harmony while holding a mike
I’ll admit I look back a couple of times it’s not easy
But then I’d look in a mirror and acknowledge what’s beneath me
He was my first love and I know I’ll always have love for him
Because meeting someone like that, chances are slim